Too spicy for "Snarky Crochet!" This pattern was meant to be in my debut book, but was deemed too raunchy for several bookstores. Therefore I'm offering it for free here!

This is for a PDF FILE with English instructions, NOT a finished crochet object. The digital file will be automatically sent to you after you successfully check out.

Please do NOT share, forward, or publish this pattern with anyone or anywhere. You are welcome to sell any items you make from this pattern with proper credit to @gettohookingcrochet.

SKILL LEVEL 

Beginner. We all have to gain experience somewhere.

FINISHED MEASUREMENTS

1.5” (4 cm) x 0.75” (2 cm)

YARN 

Worsted weight (#4 medium) in pink, brown, beige, alabaster, olive, cocoa, cream…all colors are good, really.

Hook

US D-3, 3.25 mm

Notions

Scissors, tapestry needle, fiber fill or scrap yarn, stitch markers (optional).

Gauge: Gauge does not matter. Make sure your hook is small enough not to leave large gaps.

Abbreviations (US Terminology)

Rnd / Rnds: Round / rounds

Ch / Chs: Chain / chains

SC: Single crochet

Dec: Decrease. Either use an invisible single crochet decrease (see below), single crochet 2 together (SC2tog), or skip a stitch, whatever you prefer.

Special Stitches

None

Notes

This pattern is made in continuous rounds.

You may use whatever yarn and hook size combination as you wish.

Use a stitch marker to mark the start of each new round, if desired.